Damage Meters

Whilst in an instance I get conflicting damage information, either mine is generous or others a stingy... i use violation... does n e one know of another one that is better or should we all be using the same one as standard.......

I need to know how much i suck lol ......

i used the same as you, but deleted it and now i have recount, though i find it not as user friendly as violation

I use recount and i say that it is a lot more reliable than violation and easy to configure but that is just my opinion you will have to try it to decide if it is

I'll hand out my addon setup:

I use following addons for raid:
Omen3 - Threat meters to make sure I'm always on top of threat, as I'm a tank... This is also great for dps in fights where aggro is hard to maintain.
X-Perl UnitFrames - Actually I use the raid bars to see readychecks directly, whoever performs them. Also to see who target my target and what healers are targeting me. This addon also supplies nice raidframes and customizable UI, been around all the way back from 60s, so it's well developed. OBS. If you have low fps already, this will lower it.
Recount - DPS meters. Gives you a brief overview of your dps, but can be set to show a whole lot of stats, such as friendly fire, dps, total dmg, total heals and such. And can be printed to any channel (whisper, group, raid, /2, whatever).
Deadly Boss Mods - Boss encounters. An addon that enables you to get information about the boss encounter during the fights, such as timers and alerts when needed, really usefull if you arent 100% sure about all bosses out there.

Other social addons:
Prat3 - Chat addon. High performance is automaticly disabled, so it's pretty ok, it colors names to the class they are, ex. DK's have red names. It also enables you to copy links and whole conversations. Some nice features that enables you to have whisper as main chat, such as just pressing enter and you reply, rather then "r".
Cartographer - Makes your map a floating map rather than something that is covering your screen, it's also very customizable, as well as having waypoints and markers. It can also reveale unexplored areas from the map.
AtlasLoot Enchanted - Show's loot from dungeon bosses and what trade skills can craft / enchant.
CurseProfiler + Curse Client - The uploader to curse. The software also enables you to get latest updates of all addons you got in one single click (www.curse.com) if you install them through their client.

There might be some more I add later, although this should be covering most of them. Check out the movies and you can see my GUI:
1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlqC8ja3bPE (SPS Thaddius 1 09 04 09 HQ)
2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMDMfTrZqWo (SPS Thaddius 2 09 04 09 HQ)